Chapter 21

 

My breathing was heavy, just like I ran a race. My head was pounding, and so was my heart. I looked around, the room was still dark. That meant that it wasn’t even morning yet. My blinds were still closed, and the air around me seemed hot.

I sit there in awe trying to remember the dream I just had. It takes a while to remember, but then it comes back to me: I was on stage, playing guitar, and a guy I didn’t know came out after, and then he called me Rose. 

But that’s impossible. Rose was my mom’s name. 

And that song he said I was playing – Blossoms. Could that be why blossoms were suddenly in all of my dreams? 

I shook my head to myself. No. I was just strumming 2 chords. That couldn’t have been a song. It was just a dream. I don’t know any song called Blossoms! 

I take another deep breath. Dream’s always confuse me, but I didn’t want this one to. To my delight, with each passing second I forgot the dream more and more, it was slipping away from my mind. 

After a few seconds of my head still pounding, I stand up and open the blinds in my room. 

It takes a lot of my strength to open the window, it’s always been very stubborn. But then I finally get it, and a rush of cold air greets my face. It was getting colder now, with each day the winds seemed to blow harder and the air seemed colder. But I liked the cold air nipping at my skin, especially after a hot night. 

Trees were swaying out my window, and it was still dark outside. Not pitch black, I could still see the outlines of many cars driving on the road. Where they were going, I didn’t know. But the headlights were bright, illuminating on my walls sometimes. Growing up here, near a small city, I was used to the sound of cars. I liked it, the way the tires glided along the road. My hair blows slightly, and I breathe out.

I wanted the dream to completely disappear from my memory, but some visions still stayed imprinted on my mind. The way the crowd looked when I finished playing, even if there was no real crowd before. They were clapping so loud, but I hadn’t played anything amazing. I only strummed two chords. Why do dreams have to be so weird but real at the same time?

 

Morning finally comes, and I just lay in my bed until then. Today was Saturday, so I didn’t have to go to school, but I still had homework to do. Math and science and language, it swirled in my mind and I rubbed my eyes. 

I check my phone and see 6:30 on the top of my screen. I can’t sleep any longer. I think. 

So I go downstairs and make myself some oatmeal. To my surprise, Aunt Cynthia was already awake, sitting on our gray couch, looking at her tablet. 

“Good morning honey,” Aunt Cynthia said. 

“Morning,” is all I say back. 

“How’d you sleep? You woke up a bit early today.”

“I just couldn’t sleep,” I admit. I fill up the kettle and wait for it to boil. And then I sat next to my auntie. 

“Why’s that?”

“Just…. Dreams.” 

“Bad dreams?” 

“If I had a bad dream, that would be a nightmare,” I say, “I just had a weird dream.”

“Do you remember what it was?” Aunt Cynthia was always curious about whatever I was thinking, saying, or doing. I guess I liked it when I was little, because I had her all to myself. But I guess now I don’t enjoy it as much. 

“No,” I lie, “I don’t remember.”

The kettle finishes boiling and I get up to pour it in the oatmeal mix. I couldn’t tell Aunt Cynthia how good it felt to be on stage. I wouldn’t like it in real life… it would seem too real. The dream was scary enough. So maybe… maybe it was a nightmare. 

I eat my dry oatmeal in silence. Aunt Cynthia continues scrolling through something on her tablet. 

“How did you sleep?” I ask her. 

She sighs, “fine, fine. I want to get into a routine of getting up earlier though,” she says.

“Why’s that?”

“It’s just healthier. You know, going to sleep early and waking up early.”

I shrug. I never minded falling asleep late. Or waking up late. 

 

I checked my phone, the time read 4:35 PM. I had just finished doing math, and I was pretty proud of myself for finishing early. I then sit on my bed and don’t know what to do, so I pick up mom’s guitar. 

There’s that magical touch again. I tell myself. I practice doing A and D until I’m very bored of the sound, and then I wanted to try something new. 

The next chord I aim for is E minor, which is only two fingers on the second fret, along the middle strings. 

I take a deep breath, and I decide wildly that it’s probably time for me to learn a song. A simple one, maybe with the chords I already know. 

I sit there for a few minutes trying to figure out what song I should play, one that I’ve been listening to often.

After making sure there were no other options, I chose a song called Superstar by Taylor Swift. It had a soft sound to it, and I always noticed the hint of guitar playing when she was signing. 

So I pull my laptop out from under my bed, and search ‘Superstar Taylor Swift guitar chords’ into the Google browser. Hopefully it had the easy chords I already knew of. 

I click on the first one I see and scroll through the chords. There was a D, an A, and E minor, but then there was also a G. 

As fast as I can, I search up how to do the G chord. I might be able to do this! I thought. 

But, disappointment hits me right when I see how hard the G chord is. The finger positions were not at all close to each other, so it was a real stretch. 

But I do it anyway. It was a very uncomfortable position to put my fingers in, and I feel defeated. I try strumming. I heard buzzes instead. I press my fingers until they hurt. Until they bleed. I keep strumming, over and over again. I switch fingers, and I practice the sequence all over again until my fingertips give up. 

D, A, E minor, G

D, A, E minor, G

D, A, E minor, G

Again and again I do the sequence, over and over until I can’t anymore. My brain and heart was up to it, but my hands weren’t.

My hands were aching so hard that they were shaking. I finally unstick my fingers from the strings of the guitar and see line dents along my fingertips, and they were red. I blow on them, and then feel even more proud for trying the G chord. I still needed practice, but I was ready for my first song. 

I layed down on my bed, stretching out my back. A thought drifted its way through my mind. 

I think I can do this.