Chapter 25

 

I woke up on December 25th seeing big, fluffy white snow out my window, and frost licking the edges of the corners. I first don’t know what day it is, but then it pops into my head. 

Christmas!

I get up as fast as I can and race downstairs. It was only almost 8, I could’ve slept in way longer, but really, who can sleep in on Christmas day? Not me. 

Luckily, Aunt Cynthia and dad were both awake, sitting on the couch, drinking coffee. 

“Good morning!” Aunt Cynthia says. But I barely pay attention. The big, alive pine tree in the living room lights up the whole space. Literally. The lights twinkle and shine, and the ornaments on the tree seemed to be happier on this day than any other day. And there were a few presents under the tree, some for all 3 of us. 

I give a hug to Aunt Cynthia and dad and they offer me some hot chocolate. In our house and tradition, we always open the presents after breakfast. The morning is family bonding time. 

“How’d you sleep?” Dad asks me. 

“Pretty good. I had 2 dreams that it was Christmas morning, but it was just a dream. And then it wasn’t!” I start to laugh. “I’m excited.”

 

For breakfast we have fancy eggs with cheese (Aunt Cynthia’s specialty), waffles, sandwiches and sausages. Dad puts on his favourite Christmas playlist, and we talk and catch up. Aunt Cynthia explains how we’re visiting some of my cousins I haven’t seen in a while tomorrow for dinner, but we have this whole day to ourselves. I finally start to enjoy myself a little, let loose now that school’s over. Just for a little while. 

 

After that, one of my favourite times comes. Presents! I know everybody says that you shouldn’t be too greedy about receiving them, but it’s still something you have to look forward to on Christmas. Who doesn’t?

Dad reads the first label, “Kateri,” he says and then passes it to me. 

The present was small, and wrapped with red Christmas wrapping paper with mini santas all over it. The label said: ‘To: Kateri, From: Santa’. I recognized it as Aunt Cynthia’s writing. 

I tore it open, there was a little white rectangular box. I opened it slowly, and found a pink capo, cuddled up with some extra styrofoam. A capo!

“A capo!” I look up and smile. 

“Santa decided you should need one,” Aunt Cynthia smiled. 

I get up and hug her, “thank you Santa.”

 

The next few days pass and I’m at my cousin’s place, then my grandma’s. I’m really starting to enjoy myself and have fun now, even if it’s only for a little while. All the things I get in total are wireless earbuds, a new notebook, a capo, 2 little cactus plants, fuzzy socks, hot chocolate mix, and, (my favourite I think) a new laptop! I hadn’t really requested it, but dad bought it for me and decided I was ready to do my own work on my own laptop. He got a big hug after that!

 

A week later but in the new year, I’m sitting on my lounge chair by the window in the living room with a mug of my new hot chocolate. The snow was still falling, and I loved sitting here sometimes just watching it fall. Tomorrow was the first day of school again, so I planned to stay here all night, remembering and cherishing the last few moments before school again. 

I suddenly get a ding from my phone from across the room, but I open my new laptop instead. I wanted to try out the new chatting system anyway. 

I open the messaging app and see a new message from Amber from the group chat with me, Lily, Amber and Maria. We’ve been texting each other for a little bit over the break, but not every day. We all had separate plans, so we all understood. 

I click on the new message. 

 

Amber: Hey! Who’s ready for tomorrow 😉 

 

A knot started to form in my stomach. I wasn’t even trying to think about tomorrow, all the piling assignments, tests, homework. A dread washed over me. 

So I don’t know what to type. 

Instead, Lily replies. 

 

Lily: aaaah idk. Just wanna enjoy winter break as much as i can:)

 

Kateri: same. How’s it been for u guys?

 

I wait a while. 

 

Amber: its been ok. It was so hot in florida tho! Was not ready for all that extra snow when we came back lol

 

Lily: it was so cold! Yeah its been fun. I stayed at my grandma’s house for a week, and then a week w/ my cousins. What about u kat?

 

Kateri: had lots of fun. Yeah i visited family a couple days ago too for new years. Sooo not ready for tomorrow !! 

 

Maria: how’d i miss all this??? Hey guys, sorry im a little late. 

 

Lily: lol its ok 🙂 

 

Amber: at least we’ll be all together again tomorrow:)

 

Kateri: yayyy

 

Maria: ya i seriously miss u guys aaa

 

Lily: saaame well i gtg see u lovies tomorrow<3 

 

Kateri: love ya 

 

Maria: mwah

 

Amber: byeee

 

I stay on the chat a little while and think. I had missed my friends over the break, and, in a way, I guess I was excited to get back to school tomorrow. I mean, isn’t it crazy? A few months ago I was excited to start high school, now I was dreading going back. I shouldn’t feel that way. 

Enough. I close my laptop and take a sip of my hot chocolate. It was starting to get cold. I look at the melted marshmallows inside. 

Then I think about the talent show, and the non-staged one too. I knew it was a whole month away, but it seemed to be getting closer and closer each passing day. Which it was. Why do I think of it like that? 

Why was I so anxious, anyway?

Part of me wanted to play guitar so badly, I wanted to get up on that stage and show everyone what I’d been practicing for a really long time. I just wanted to scream in people’s faces, ‘I can do something now! I’m good at something now!’

But that’s not how it works. You can’t just do that.

Another part of me was a total chicken. Getting up on stage in front of the whole school, and all the parents seemed …. More than impossible. 

I was also able to play so many more songs now because of the capo. It almost made me feel… professional in a way. 

I looked down at the melted marshmallows again and started to trace my finger around the top of the mug, in circles, over and over again. I thought about going to my happy place, but did I really need to? I mean, here I am, alone, in a comfy chair, with a hot chocolate, watching white, fluffy snow fall outside the window and watching the sky slowly turn dark. This was my happy place. I just needed to stop thinking about tomorrow and stressing thoughts. 

Because until then, everything will be okay.