Chapter 10

 

Aunt Cynthia doesn’t come into my room all night, which honestly surprises me. I fall asleep with an uneasy pit in my stomach. No texts come from the group chat either. In a way, that made me more nervous. I woke up and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to go downstairs because I didn’t want Aunt Cynthia to see my face. So I sat there, on my bed. I was already late for school, I looked like a mess, and I had the worst friend problem ever. I was hungry and angry, and I didn’t want to stand up.

Finally, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I sat the other way, opposite from the door. 

“Kateri,” I hear her voice. Traitor. 

I don’t reply. Even if I smelt breakfast follow Aunt Cynthia.

So she didn’t forget about me.

I heard the door creak open. She let herself inside. And then I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned around. Aunt Cynthia was carrying a tray of eggs, waffles, and a little cup of soup. She had her hair down and a soft expression on her face. Aunt Cynthia wore her home pants. It was nice to see her, but there was no way I was going to tell her that. 

I didn’t even know how I looked. My hair was probably a bird’s nest, and my face was blotchy red from all the crying. 

Aunt Cynthia sets down the tray, and sits next to me. I don’t move.

“I’m sorry for telling Lily’s mom and your friends about you being..” she took a breath. I didn’t stop her, “homeschooled.”

When I said nothing, Aunt Cynthia just said, “I assumed you told them.”

Finally, I felt like saying something. “I didn’t,” was all I said. My voice was raspy from the crying. 

“Why not?” She spoke softly, trying to meet my gaze. 

I sniffed, “because,” oh no. More tears. “I didn’t want them to think I’m stupid,” I sob again. 

“Why would they think that? True friends accept you for who you are,” Aunt Cynthia said. 

“I was scared,” I admit, “but lying was so wrong,” I add. 

Truth is, I wasn’t only mad at Aunt Cynthia. I was angry with myself, too. True friends also don’t lie to each other. It messed everything up. I messed everything up.

Aunt Cynthia watched the thoughts pass through my head and watched me cry. I’m glad she didn’t say anything.

Once I calmed myself down, Aunt Cynthia grabbed my hand. “Y’know, the best friendships always go through flaws.”

I was so thirsty, “yes but,” I didn’t know what to say. “What do I do?”

“I think you should apologize,” Aunt Cynthia said. 

“But I don’t wanna go to school,” I sounded like a baby. 

“Kateri,” I looked at my aunt. She looked tired. Tired of me probably. 

“You’re gonna have to go to school,” Aunt Cynthia squeezed my hand. I knew she was right. I needed to fix this. 

“I’ll let you get dressed and eat. Meet me downstairs, I’ll drive you,” she pats my leg. 

“I’m already late,” I sniff.

“It’s okay,” she whispers.

Then my auntie leaves and I take my time eating and getting dressed. I do it with a tied stomach, I feel all the emotions all at once. Anger, sadness, depression, stressed but most of all, hopeful. 

Then I came across a thought. One about Abigail. Would she be mad at me if I lied to her?

Brushing out my hair was a disaster. When it was half decent, I weaved my hair into sloppy braids. At this point, I didn’t care. 

 

I meet Aunt Cynthia downstairs and she grabs the keys. We don’t really talk, most of it is just me about to be sick. I’ve never really had a fight with a friend. Or a disagreement. To be fair though, I’ve never really had a true friend. What will Lily, Amber and Maria think? How was I going to say sorry?

When we arrive at the school, I feel like vomiting all over the car. But instead, I take a deep breath and open the car door. 

“I’ll see you after school,” Aunt Cynthia says out the window. 

“Okay,” I can barely hear myself talk. My head was too foggy with thoughts. I walk through the empty parking lot. Once I enter the office, I say that I’m late. 

The secretary gives me a late slip. It was around 9, which meant I had to go to Geometry. 

Oh no. Lily’s in that class. 

I walk slowly through the halls, and when I reach the classroom, I see Miss. Gomez’s face first, my Geometry teacher. I walk in awkwardly, and the whole class turns their head to look at me. I felt like sinking down into the floor. But I just stood there. The only person who didn’t meet my gaze was Lily, it’s like she sensed me coming in. I walked over to my usual spot – which was beside Lily. I felt like I was walking toward a fire. She didn’t look at me, but had a very neutral expression. 

For now, I opened up my Geometry notebook with shaky hands. Miss Gomez was flipping through something at her desk.

Just then, I heard something crinkle under my desk. It sounded like paper. I looked down. It was a note. 

A note from Lily. 

I unfolded it with sweaty hands, and saw her perfectly spaced out writing on it. 

 

What happened last night? Why’d you lie to us? 

 

I had so many answers, but just then, my mind went blank. 

I flip the note over and write:

 

I’m sorry I lied. I was being an idiot.

 

She scribbled something back and for a second, I thought Miss Gomez saw us. I glance down. 

 

Okay but why’d you lie?

 

I was going to have to tell her the truth. I realized now that I’m humiliating myself even more by lying to them. What a jerk I am. 

 

I was afraid you’d make fun of me. 

 

Lily seemed to know exactly what to write this time. 

 

Thats crazy! I know a ton of people that are homeschooled. You should’ve just told us kat 

 

I write back. 

 

I know. I’m sorry. 

 

Thanks for saying that. 

 

Can we be best friends again? 

 

When Lily reads that note, she just turns to me, smiles and nods.